thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
