y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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