hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
