I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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