I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
