i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
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I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
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I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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