It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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