He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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