Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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