Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic