Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(518): View more from New York

Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'

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(440): View more from Ohio

Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.

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(281): View more from Texas

Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.

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29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Read it at the TFLN blog
(720): View more from Colorado

You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.

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(207): View more from Maine

Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.

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(563): View more from Iowa

The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??

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