Texts From Last Night

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  (712): View more from Iowa

  whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?

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  (712): whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice? http://tfl.nu/r74z
  Replies (90) Good night (4036) Bad night (1064)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...

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  (248): i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times... http://tfl.nu/ibyk
  Replies (15) Good night (5533) Bad night (995)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on

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  (519): We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on http://tfl.nu/80ye
  Replies (12) Good night (3703) Bad night (1873)
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  (310): View more from California

  I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.

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  (310): I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila. http://tfl.nu/yi5v
  Replies (13) Good night (2057) Bad night (5945)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.

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  (608): May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in. http://tfl.nu/2att
  Replies (6) Good night (3638) Bad night (925)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..

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  (902): i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see.. http://tfl.nu/ubpf
  Replies (9) Good night (4114) Bad night (914)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.

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  (570): Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage. http://tfl.nu/7s6f
  Replies (12) Good night (4358) Bad night (957)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...

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  (615): To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels... http://tfl.nu/f4i6
  Replies (7) Good night (3144) Bad night (733)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.

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  (410): We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES. http://tfl.nu/638m
  Replies (15) Good night (2783) Bad night (1044)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...

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  (319): i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself (612): It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool... http://tfl.nu/lubj
  Replies (7) Good night (2847) Bad night (878)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.

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  (845): Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent. http://tfl.nu/xb5q
  Replies (5) Good night (2121) Bad night (513)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.

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  (218): Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life. http://tfl.nu/7bi7
  Replies (6) Good night (391) Bad night (1599)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it

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  (214): I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it http://tfl.nu/key8
  Replies (11) Good night (645) Bad night (1130)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.

  (913): View more from Kansas

  Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.

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  (816): Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort. (913): Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine. http://tfl.nu/1agk
  Replies (1) Good night (635) Bad night (207)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.

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  (480): I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it. http://tfl.nu/0k0k
  Replies (8) Good night (838) Bad night (219)

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