Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (949): i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way http://tfl.nu/yxz9
  Replies (20) Good night (1026) Bad night (2756)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad http://tfl.nu/g8m9
  Replies (3) Good night (800) Bad night (2810)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!

  (1-440): View more from Ohio

  I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days! (1-440): I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!! http://tfl.nu/v3m4
  Replies (80) Good night (1299) Bad night (4079)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (802): the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME http://tfl.nu/i706
  Replies (51) Good night (742) Bad night (6992)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (250): she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza http://tfl.nu/2a0o
  Replies (13) Good night (4941) Bad night (2286)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this" http://tfl.nu/4n5n
  Replies (29) Good night (1742) Bad night (5330)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes. http://tfl.nu/lhf2
  Replies (28) Good night (1238) Bad night (4234)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk. http://tfl.nu/dygh
  Replies (2) Good night (2391) Bad night (757)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  Just got motor boated by a horse in the street

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): Just got motor boated by a horse in the street http://tfl.nu/nm8s
  Replies (9) Good night (1723) Bad night (919)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (918): What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how. http://tfl.nu/o4fq
  Replies (12) Good night (3285) Bad night (1345)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade. http://tfl.nu/blkw
  Replies (7) Good night (1767) Bad night (807)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat

  (818): View more from California

  You had me at first table

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat (818): You had me at first table http://tfl.nu/zwwm
  Replies (0) Good night (974) Bad night (391)
• Favorite

  (712): View more from Iowa

  I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (712): I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple. http://tfl.nu/5d4d
  Replies (1) Good night (936) Bad night (637)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (941): When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel. http://tfl.nu/2hjl
  Replies (3) Good night (640) Bad night (471)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (212): No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home. http://tfl.nu/seek
  Replies (7) Good night (2250) Bad night (449)

Randomize