New low: just hacked my moms facebook
and technically it was a rebound
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.