Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
