I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
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Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.