i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
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Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
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I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.