Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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