WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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