sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
