I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
