i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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