normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
