I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
