we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
