is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Randomize
