Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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