Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
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thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
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I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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