Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
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I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize