My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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