Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
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Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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