she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
