I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
