So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i just had sex bonerless
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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