Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
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