So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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