butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
