just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I want her autograph on my taint
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
