Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
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