Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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