I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
