I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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