I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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