I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
