Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Randomize
