Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I don't think brook has ever known best
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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