Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Your tits are I can't wait for
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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