pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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