Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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