remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
