She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
