You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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