You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
