i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
