all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
We have so much sex to catch up on
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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