happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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