I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
