Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I party with great urgency now.
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