I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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