If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
