Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
You're like the curious george of whores
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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