Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
