and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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