Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
