just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
