as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
