SEEEEXXX PLEASE
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
