Well douche your snatch and let's go!
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
