i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.