You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis