using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.