Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.