So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
thus making me awesome and them whores
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Randomize
