So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
