I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
