but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I think I sprained my soul last night
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Randomize
